That Empty Old Feeling...

Unfortunately, my local hardware store wouldn't sell me any rope once they had heard my suicidal grumblings (following the event that shall not be named--the one with all the worthless, drunk, racists on the East Coast). To that end, I'm still alive and kicking. Actually, I'm alive and eating a Heath bar. At any rate, I'd like to give you an inside look at the fallout of Game 6.

I'm not talking about anything pertaining to the game, just crap that ran through my mind. For example...

--I actually stuck things out with the Lakers and watched the entire game. I have invested a pathetic number of hours into this squad, so the least I could do was give one more hour. I kept the television on right until the moment that they interviewed Kevin Garnett. Whoa. I'm not sure if he has ever been interviewed for national television before, but I doubt that David Stern was happy with either half scream/half MF-laced grunt or the list of shout-outs that followed.

--As I was going to turn off the TV, they of course had to cut to Paul Pierce, with his phony, overly eager face that exudes cockiness. He must be well aware of the fact that he is a tier below an elite player, because he sure tries to make up for it with excessive arrogance.

(For those unfamiliar with Facebook, sorry for the 'inside jargon' that follows)

--Naturally, I'm quite pissed at this point. I flip on the ol' facebook and attempt to come up with a witty 'status.' Unfortunately, anything remotely funny exceeded the maximum number of characters and any attempts to cut it down made me seem like an excuse-making bitch...ironic, since it would pertain to Boston, huh? I can't even remember if I attempted more entries, because about that time, I noticed my friend's status read: 'Boston's up by 30 in 4th...they're gonna do it again!!!...I'm acting like a cock!!!!!' Okay, so I added the last part in, but his was something of similarly douchey ilk. I countered his move by creating a hastily written wall post that viciously attacked his status and the Boston Celtics. Actually it was three posts, because I twice exceeded the maximum number of characters.

--While you are probably expecting me to have some outrageous anecdote to share (something along the lines of me punching an obnoxious red head with the faint smell of alcohol and body odor), I unfortunately have none. Game four was the one that really sent me raging (see: preceding blog post). While I was still upset following game six, I understood the odds stacked against LA. Plus, the game was over at halftime, so I was able to accept things earlier than normal. Having said that, I do have a couple of thoughts looking back on the series--and I promise, no excuses, just observations.

--I'm convinced at this point that the character of Jackie Moon in Semi-Pro is loosely based on Doc Rivers. "I'm a motivator, I'm not an Xs and Os kinda guy!" Who does this sound like? The quote is attributed to Moon, but c'mon. Was there even one clip from a Boston huddle where Rivers said anything that strayed from the "Stay Tough!/Mental Toughness/We're Better/Execute!" formula? I missed about six quarters of action all total, but other than that I can't think of any instance that deviates from what I mentioned.

--During Game One, Marc Jackson pointed out that Doctor J, Bill Russell, and Magic Johnson were all in attendance. He went on to say that he could creat an "all-time lineup" that could "compete with anybody": the three aforementioned greats plus Kobe and Garnett. Um, I saw Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in the crowd as well. Why don't we push KG out of the discussion, move Russell to Power Forward, insert Kareem at Center, and pretend that we didn't actually mention Garnett in the same breath as Kareem, sound cool? Of course it does.

--Sorry Marc Jackson, but the whole "you can be a champion without winning a championship" thing is BS...this isn't pee wee basketball.

Editor's Note:

--My apologies to Tiger Woods; I had made a joke about exaggerating his knee injury before learning that the man was playing on a torn ACL. In other news, Paul Pierce exaggerated the injury to his knee.

--Sorry to Curt Schilling. While I wished him ill will following his classless and thoroughly deep south, intolerant, racist, white trash redneck blog post about Kobe, I never actually though I would jinx his season and possibly his career. My bad.