Random Musings, Vol. 3

--This week's recipient of the 'ASS' stamp: the NBA on TNT staff for the joke they pulled on Chris Webber. Evidently, he's joining Inside the NBA (that was the implication the other night; not so sure 'bout that one, guys), proving that Turner is not familiar with the old saying that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it (of course, maybe they are clearing the way for Kenny Smith to join the Knicks organization in some capacity)." Anyhoo, on his initial broadcast, Webber closed the show by answering five questions asked by Ernie Johnson. The first four queries dealt with specifics about the Inside, but, and this is where the dick-wad factor comes into effect, the final question was "how many timeouts are there in a half of college basketball." Ouch! Webber took it in stride, but that seemed like a risky move on live television.

--I would like to apologize to the entire city of Philadelphia. Not just because they live in Philadelphia, that goes without saying, but because I jinxed the 76ers the other night during Game 4 of their series with the Pistons. As Philly went into the half with a double-digit lead, I couldn't help but think to myself, 'will a 76ers win take away from Cleveland's (blown out of proportion) run towards the Finals last year.'

--Speaking of hose-jobs, what's the deal with the Magic/Raptors series being an NBA TV exclusive (save one ABC game)? If I'm a fan of either team, I'm pissed at the league for using these franchises as an experiment. Experiment? Think about it, if they schedule playoff games on their channel from various series, fans can rationalize missing one contest. But if you are a die-hard whose team is being broadcast exclusively on a premium channel, how can you miss an entire series? This rationale would more than likely lead to an increase of subscriptions and not just the 'let's watch the game and cancel the subscription immediately' maneuver. Am I crazy?

--The Mavericks/Hornets series presents a complex rooting issue for me. I don't really like New Orleans (Chris Paul has Chauncey Billups syndrome: "I'm so good, I'm entitled to (insert accolade here); plus, everyone talks about how intrical he has been to the 'healing process' of New Orleans; correct me if I'm wrong, but unless you walk down the Lower Ninth Ward screaming into a bullhorn "I'M GLAD YOU FUCKERS GOT FLOODED!" you're going to look A-OK), but I definitely think Byron Scott got it backdoor style by Jason Kidd in New Jersey, so part of me enjoys this silent display of revenge.

--Pat Riley stepped down as coach today. While I think his recent history has been kind of shady (I'll take this title contender off your hands, Stan; now shoo, SHOO!), he deserves a pass on this latest resignation...unless he coaches another team some time down the road. In that event, his latest act will be nothing more than a case of 'when the going gets tough, Pat Riley gets going.'

Random Musings, Vol. 1

--Okay, so if Game 1 of the Celtics/Hawks series resulted in a 104-81 Boston win, and game two once again went the way of the leprechaun, 96-77, what can we surmise? Well, nothing is guaranteed in the playoffs, but you can be damn sure that come game seven, Atlanta will be favored by a point. Just wait until they uncork the ass-kicking they have in store for the C's by the time game ten rolls around.

--I don't hate anyone, but I basketball-hate Linas Kleiza (or should it be a general "sports-hate?"). Why must he decide to have career games against the Los Angeles Lakers? Granted, it has not yet translated into any overall success in the victory department, but I do not enjoy seeing him show off his confusingly deep repertoire.

--A message for any and all university advisors who may be reading this post: JUST TAKE THE DAMN HOLD OFF MY RECORD! I CAN SCHEDULE NEXT YEAR'S CLASSES MYSELF!

Read bracketed text for an extended rant if so desired: [JUST BECAUSE YOU CHOSE A CAREER THAT AMOUNTS TO DECIPHERING ELEMENTARY SCHEDULING CONFLICTS FOR EIGHT A DAY, DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN JERK ME AROUND BECAUSE I DID NOT CREATE A LIST OF DESIRED CLASSES! GIVE ME YOUR INPUT IF YOU WANT, BUT I KNOW THE REQUIREMENTS FOR MY MAJOR AND I'M GOING TO GO HOME AND CHANGE THINGS TO MY LIKING ANYWAY!]

--Don't get me wrong, I'm hoping for a sweep, but I do loves me some Allen Iverson.

--Question: If Sasha Vujacic can pull of the hairnet look while retaining some sense of masculinity, why can't Andre Miller?

--Finally, a belated congratulations to Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton. A double-digit victory in state where you were outspent over three to one is just the jumpstart you need. Ride this wave all the way to the nomination--and beyond...