Thursday, May 22, 2008

Quick Thoughts that Temporarily Hide My Lack of a Solid Post

--Whew! That's all I can say after game one of the Spurs/Lakers series. This was a big win for LA, and I think it will sting San Antonio a little bit, but in no way do I believe that this series is over. Charles Barkley is not far from the truth when he claims that the Spurs are "cockroaches that won't go away."

--I had one of those moments in which I ignored my conscience in favor of a joke. In the midst of a twelve hour shift (following only a couple of hours of sleep), a co-worker asked me how I was holding up. I assured him that I was fine, but that I might have to "limp to the finish." I paused for a moment and said "I guess you could just call me Eight Belles."

Thursday, May 15, 2008

"Hey, I wield a lot of power, why not make up for my small penis?"

Welcome to the inaugural edition of "Hey, I wield a lot of power, why not make up for my small penis?"

This entry into "Hey, I wield a lot of power, why not make up for my small penis?" happens to be everyone's favorite delusional senator from Pennsylvania, Mr. Arlen Spector! With a resume featuring hits such as 'whoa, do you guys think they'd buy it if we said that JFK was killed by just one bullet?' Arlen Spector has shown a keen knack for being out of touch with reality. But his insistance on beating the thrice-dead horse that is the Spygate scandal earns him his spot in the "Hey, I wield a lot of power, why not make up for my small penis?" club. Sure, you claimed the NFL hadn't done their job because of the lack of Matt Walsh in their investigation, that's reasonable. But when Walsh revealed himself as a loser who had no new information but hoped to receive two and a half minutes of fame you just had to push on. Everyone and their brother is ready to move on, but thanks to Senator Spector, this story will continue to live on. Thanks for this, Arlen. And thank you for graciously receiving the first ever "Hey, I wield a lot of power, why not make up for my small penis?" award.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The SportsJournalists.com Rant

Note: This post contains foul language as well as hastily slapped together materail. Reader discretion is advised.

To anyone who spends a few moments chatting with me, it becomes painfully obvious that I am a big Hillary Clinton supporter. No question, I feel that of the three, she would be the best choice possible to become our next president. In fact, there are very few people that I would vote for instead of her if given the opportunity to look away from the set candidates.
But, amongst these candidates, I could never vote for John McCain. He is a great man (if anyone talks shit about a war hero, they need to be slapped in the face…hard), but pulling the lever for a supporter of the Iraq War is not an option. As far as Barack Obama goes, well, let’s just say that the polarization of the nomination process that so many Democrats have feared possible has affected at least one voter.

Why, you ask? Maybe I don’t want an inexperienced, condescending (I’m going to, uh, talk slow and—methodical, because I, uh, I want to seem intelligent, but, uh, approachable) president. One who garners a lot of his support from demographics that haven’t voted in high quantities in the past and are stupid enough to be duped into voting now (cough—young people—cough) because of empty promises of “hope” and “change.” Of course, I guess he has promised a troop withdrawal (which I support, but so does Senator Clinton—moot point between the two), so some change is coming, but if I see one more “Change We Can Believe In” sign, I am going to puke.

Besides, am I the only one who finds it hard to believe that the Obama Cult trusts this guy so much? Instead of calling me a racist because I oppose him and find the Reverend Wright issue a tad troubling, pull your blinders off and take a look at what is being presented. Maybe the unending video reel is a tad too much, but shouldn’t the fact that Senator Obama went to church with a pastor who uttered, on the day after 9/11 no less, “…not God Bless America, God Damn America!” bug you a little bit? What about his justbarelytrue “I don’t take money from lobbyists and they won’t run my White House claim?” He has taken their money before, helping his meteoric rise to prominence, and now takes contributions from retired lobbyists who still receive compensation from their former employers. Sorry Barack, you may have success pushing this story on dumbasses, but I’m just not buying it.

At any rate, I have veered far off the topic at hand. My original intention was to showcase the Obama bias on SportsJournalists.com, a site that I enjoy perusing, but one that often sends me into fits of rage. To properly illustrate my point, I would like to post responses to, and my rebuttals of, entries on the thread “When Will Hillary Drop Out?” You may call me cowardly for not replying on the site, but arguments are not fun when it’s twenty against one (literally) and no matter what you say, the Obama zombies follow their fearless leader (Zeig Heil!!).

I'm the a-hole who answered "She's going to win." I don't know when she will drop out. If her delusion that she can still win has reached this far, she'll have to be dragged away kicking and screaming.



(Note: the ellipses indicate a response whose ignorance needs no rebuttal)

June 10, the following will be part of Hillary's speech: "The people and the superdelegates have spoken and they want Senator Obama to be the Democratic nominee for president. I respect that decision and hereby withdraw my nomination to be the Democratic nominee for the presidency. However it is still full-steam ahead for the White House as today I am declaring myself an independent candidate for the presidency."

The username of this poster is E. Street Joe. He has been spreading his hate and propaganda for quite some time. I wonder what would be the case if Bruce “I’m good, but nothing compared to my idol Bob Dylan” Springsteen had told his mindless minions to pleasure themselves to Senator Clinton instead of Senator Obama. Damn, am I going to become a Republican after all of this? I just put down The Boss thanks to Obama—somebody smack me if I suddenly prefer listening to country music.

(Note: I would love for Hillary to run as an independent. It would be more delicious if her announcement included: “Barack Obama? Who the fuck is he? Where the fuck was he five years ago? I’m Hillary Fucking Rodham Fucking Clinton. You fuckers are too dumb to nominate me? I’m fucking giving the White House to the Republicans then.” Of course, if E. Street Joe took the time to pull his thumb out of his ass and perform the most basic of Google searches, Hillary has said that she will not drag this past the convention. This is more than reasonable, considering the fact that the superdelegates have the power to make Obama the nominee today, but have yet to do so.)

I'd like to think she'd call it a campaign after the Oregon primary (assuming Obama gets the expected big win), but with all the bridges she's burned, she might as well ride this all the way through.

HEY FUCKWAD! NEITHER OF THEM ARE GOING TO GET THE 2025 DELEGATES NEEDED UNTIL ALL THE SUPERDELEGATES MAKE UP THEIR MIND! ACCORDING TO MANY NATIONAL POLLS, HILLARY IS MORE ELECTABLE THAN OBAMA AGAINST MCCAIN, SHOULD SHE NOT BE ALLOWED TO AT LEAST MAKE A CASE TO THEM?

In the daily dose of thanks for disenfranchising me from politics, Hillary's camp now says if she wins the popular vote, she's the winner. Delegates? Superdelegates? Follow the rules? Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

I’m glad you are disenfranchised from politics you dumb cum stain. People like you shouldn’t vote anyway. How would a popular vote declaration of victory be any different than declaring victory after all of the primaries are over, regardless of the 2025 delegate prerequisite (Obama’s plan)? Oh, and lest we forget that Obama’s crew helped put a stop to a Florida/Michigan revote. I guess his ‘hope’ for ‘change’ only applies to 48 of the 50 states.

(Note: The thread died prematurely, so now I’m searching for other anti-Hillary postings.)

Quote: Don't forget curing cancer. Why not?
Regular folks don't get fancy, elitist diseases like cancer.


This comes from Zeke12, a habitual offender (one who pretends to be impartial in political discussion, but has the ridiculously cheesy quote of “Whether or not Barack Obama goes on to win the nomination ... his field army will endure... And years from now, when they meet..., they'll look at each other and smile, and they won't even have to say the words: We did something amazing back in Iowa, on January 3, 2008, didn't we?" in his signature; I’m pretty sure that noise you heard was Freddie Mercury’s ghost saying ‘man, who’s the fag that wrote that?’). Oh, so first your candidate says something condescending, but the fact that Hillary has the audacity (of hope?) to talk about the “elitist” comments now she is the evil one? And it should be so obvious that you can make a cheap, unoriginal joke about it?

In reference to a potential to an equally preemptive Obama victory declaration:

A smart pre-emptive (sp—nice one, dumbshit) attack before Hilly tries to steal the election on May 31.

Oh, tries to steal the election, huh? This pisses me off SOOOO much when I hear this. Forget the fact that this election is basically a dead heat and that two pro-Hillary states might not have their voices heard (thanks in part to a behind-the-scenes stifling by Team Obama). Barack Obama and his 50.1% mandate are entitled to a no-questions-asked nomination.

She is campaigning in West Virgnia today so that is a sign that, sadly, the ego trip will continue.....

Because, you know, wanting the entire country to have their voices heard really signals to me that Senator Clinton is on an ego trip…

I wouldn't trust Clinton to pick out my wardrobe for today, let alone pick the next Supreme Court justice.

Ooh, a pantsuit joke. How fucking original!

Another post from Zeke12, who follows in his fearless leader’s condescending footsteps:

Experience? If you voted for Bush, you permanently forfeit the right to say this, think this, imply this, allude to this, mention this, use this as an aside, break ties with this, make hay of this, dine out on this, keep counsel with this, feel comforted by this, take this into consideration, weigh the impact of this, take the measure of this, like the cut of the jib of this, whisper about this, make your opinion known on this, trumpet this, break bread with this, ask about this, question this, take stock of this or in any other way proffer any kind of experience argument in any political discussion for the rest of your natural born life, so help me God.

Um…

President Bush’s national experience: his father was president for four years, he was governor of Texas for six (I count being governor as national experience but not state legislator. If you disagree, then I can point out that President Bush was in an executive position in his state, Obama only in a legislative position.)

Barack Obama’s national experience: three and a half years in the Senate.

Hillary Clinton’s national experience: her husband was governor of Arkansas for twelve years and POTUS for eight (and she was not the ‘smile and wave’ type of first lady, but rather, the ‘I’m getting shit done’ type) and she has served in the Senate for seven and a half years.
Did I just defend President Bush? Yeah, there is definitely a rift in the party.

He's (John McCain) a Vietnam war hero. I respect the hell out of that (unless his last name is Kerry).

While John Kerry might not be my cup of tea after his Obama endorsement, shame on anyone who would trash his service record...yes, this was off-topic.

The thing is, no matter what Obama says, all we're going to hear about is the word 'bitter'. And that's because the majority of TV and radio talk-show media and plenty of voters have the attention spans of 3-year-olds. Never mind that what Obama said has some truth to it, or that our economy is the shits, or we're in a war based upon lies, he's calling the voters 'bitter'!

And never mind that we are hearing more about the lies of a shooting in Bosnia than the lies of taking money from lobbyists. Right, twat for brains?

And you know what? For better or worse, that's how the game is played nowadays. And no one candidate, no matter how charismatic or intelligent, is going to change that.

AARRGGH! Calling Obama charismatic has become the equivalent of saying Brett Favre plays football with “childlike enthusiasm.”

Hillary's not bitter? Two words: Bill. Richardson.

I guess having a superdelegate, and the face of New Mexico, renege on his pledge might make someone bitter, yes. But if that sloppy, fat piece of retard fucking shit becomes the VP candidate I…I need a deep breath.

I also find it amusing that a person who made $109 million last year has the stones to call Obama an elitist.

I know! Because Obama is the one millionaire who wouldn’t be elitist, right!?

Last one, I’m tired.

This is also in regards to Obama’s condescending “bitter” comments:

What's condescending is the belief that BO's statement will be widely offensive on the ground -the people in those towns know exactly what's happening and are smarter than anyone gives them credit for. Seeing through bullshit is a special talent. I don't think this will cost him one vote he was ever going to get anyway.
And FWIW, I met BO once a long time ago, when he was at HLS and I had a girlfriend there. I'm a pretty regular guy and as I recall he was as regular as the bottom of my shoes.

Anyone who reads the statement realizes that Obama is right. But he is also right if he says that a mentally handicap person is a fucking retard. Does that mean being right means you are not offensive? Of course not, but Obama’s minions will have you believe so.
Oh, and FWIW, don’t try and go all Peter King on us and act like you and Obama are buddies that go way back. He probably thought you were a fuckwad but did not want to tell you that to your face.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

The Fighter

First off, thanks for absolutely nothing North Carolina. Granted, the poll had 15% undecided, but what exactly happened to the 44%/42% statistic in Hillary Clinton's favor? You pieces of shit.

Secondly, it was a nice come from behind win for her in Indiana, especially considering the gross amount of overspending Barack Obama has practiced in his campaign against her. And while that was nice, the Carolina thing has me bummed out. But I got another boost by the Comeback Kid last night.

Upon hearing all the hack, pro-Obama political pundits that populate the news networks (save Fox News...ironically, they have actually been the most fair and balanced throughout the Democratic nomination process--but only because they hate them both) calling for her withdrawal (she was watching on the plane), Hillary rerouted her plans and decided to continue the campaign immediately. Things may not be the brightest right now, but we haven't heard the last of Hillary Rodham Clinton. Not yet anyway.

Can't Even Sniff His Jock

I'm kind of strapped right now on ideas for this blog, but you just knew that I would have something to say about LeBron James' scintillating performance against the Boston Celtics: the series is far from over and he can certainly rebound, but Michael Jordan would have never gone 2/18 in a playoff game. Never.

Monday, May 5, 2008

I've Got Nothing

--I honestly feel saddened about Eight Bells having to be euthanized on-track at Saturday's Kentucky Derby. I hate to incorporate humor into this story, but I found out what happened via ESPN.com, which had the headline "Death Dulls Derby Luster." My line of thinking was as follows: "So Death Dulls won the Derby...oh no!" (At least ESPN.com avoided using their usual cliched headlines, such as "The 'Bells' Toll For Thee.")



--As embarrassing as it is to admit it, I watched the last 30 laps of the redneck race on Saturday night. I don't know anything about NASCAR, but I'm pretty sure Kyle (?) Busch, despite his claim otherwise, intentionally put LIL' E!!! into the wall. Or at least he used LIL' E!!!'s vehicle to stabilize his. Either way, I know what I saw and Busch turned his wheels into LIL' E!!!'s car.



--Eh, I don't really have anything else to say, and I don't want to put a bunch of redundant, even-less-funny-than-usual thoughts ('Boy, those Celtics sure showed the Hawks...that team showed a lot of pride! Celtic Pride?' Ecch, I can only imagine what my mind would spew at 3:30 am).