You Call Yourself a Christian, I Think That You're a Hypocrite

Well, well, well. It looks like somebody left the house without their WWJD bracelet this morning. Tony Dungy, cover-boy for EA Sports’ Head Coach 09, granted an interview to the online gaming service Gametap to discuss the aforementioned video game. When asked about potential cheat codes within the game, Dungy provided a very interesting answer:

“I don't know about any cheat codes. They say that's really a big secret around here, it's like Spygate. I don't know if they put that in there or not or what the penalty would be if you entered any cheat codes, but we'll probably only let New England have cheat codes.”

So, I guess this means that God finds it okay to exploit the pain of others, kick our neighbors when they are down, and gossip about people. After all, Tony Dungy is Jesus: The Sequel. So if this saintly man finds it funny to crack inconsiderate (and, let’s not forget, unoriginal and marginally humorous) jokes about Bill Belichick, who are we to criticize him?

In fact, since Tony Dungy is the gold standard for football coaches, nay, human beings, are we going to see any new features implemented into Head Coach 09 to tailor the game to his preferences? Will there be an option to hold your team hostage at the end of every season? Think about how revolutionary this could be! You could put up the façade of being a family man, ask for special perks (taking a private jet to your son’s high school football games in Florida, for example), and give ownership the ‘will I or won’t I’ treatment every year. And you could even make it to where fans and media alike will worship the ground you walk on, because, by slacking off on the job that pays you millions, you are a true family man whose life is not solely rooted in football.

Or, you could have football derail your first marriage. Then, find Jesus after the divorce. And finally, build up a reputation as “Mr. Nice Guy” around the league. People will forget about the phantom first wife and will consequently treat you like a god. But you are not God, but close…as you will no doubt reinforce, by continually reminding people of your holiness, simultaneously trying to put up a front of humble piety.

What? You mean that both of these features apply to Dungy? Oh, I guess that EA will just have to implement a cheat code to be able to do this. Shoot! I forgot, that will not work either. After all, Saint Tony has made it clear that cheats are reserved for New England. And it must be true, because surely this great man would not take delight in seeing one of his fellow human beings in an uncomfortable situation. After all, judge not lest ye be judged (Matthew 7:1).