Damn, Jim Nantz

Again, I'm working on a better post, but for now I'll just impart another few random thoughts:

--I'm wondering when the Houston Rockets are supposed to show that the loss of Yao will hurt them.

--I really do not like LeBron James.

--I wish that ESPN could have devoted a little more coverage to the Brett Favre retirement situation...

--How's about Hillary Clinton? I'd really love to see her call a press conference, have all the doubters in the media who questioned the stamina left in her campaign attend, and then grab her crotch area (as a symbol of her having more power than the journalists, not that she is manly) and scream "YOU WANNA SAY SOMETHING NOW, BITCHES!?"

--As much as I hope Hillary gets the nomination, I do honestly like Barack Obama. I especially enjoyed the exchange of words he had with John McCain last week. It all started with a question in the latest Democratic debate. The moderator asked Senator Obama if he were elected president, and troops were pulled out of Iraq, what course of action would he take if the taliban (I'm not sure if it should be capitalized, but let's not dignify these people by doing so) occupied the area once America's presence was gone. Obama replied that we should deal with the situation when the time comes. A day or two later, McCain told an audience at a campaign rally that "I've got news for Senator Obama, the taliban are already there!" Later, at an Obama rally, the Illinois senator retorted "I've got news for Senator McCain, the taliban were not in Iraq until we went over there in the first place."

--I really do not like LeBron James.

--I will now channel my inner Jim Rome and burn on something that really gets me going. First, whenever Barack Obama claims that "I didn't vote to go into Iraq," he should preface his comments with the fact that HE WAS NOT IN CONGRESS AT THE TIME OF THE VOTE! Furthermore, let's look at the situation with Senator Clinton voting for the war in Iraq. First off, let's remember the patriotic fervor in the country at the time. What do you think would happen if she voted against it? It's like cultural consensus in journalism; if a great majority feels strongly on an issue, it's okay to be biased (a la racism). The consensus was that we should go in, and she acted on behalf of the citizens that elected her as their representative. Secondly, there are no greater fear-mongerers than high-ranking members of the Republican Party. If Hillary voted against the war, imagine the backlash from the GOPs (Greedy Old Pricks?): they would have painted her as an anti-American, terrorist sympathizer. Maybe, although it's doubtful since she is a Clinton, she even would have lost her seat in the Senate come next election to another Republican automaton. They could manipulate people into thinking she did the wrong thing, replace her with another rank-and-file member of their machine, and continue their quest towards an American dictatorship. Okay, so maybe I'm getting a little carried away, but you know what I'm getting at. And you might be thinking, "David, if Hillary felt that voting no on the war was the right thing to do, she should have overruled her constituents for the good of the country." And you would probably be right. Well, except for...the fact...that...CONGRESS VOTED ON THE WAR BASED ON COMPLETELY FABRICATED EVIDENCE OF WMDs IN IRAQ AND A LINK BETWEEN AL QAEDA AND THE IRAQI GOVERNMENT! How can they be held accountable for something that was the right decision based on the evidence presented to them at that time. Are they supposed to assume that their COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF is lying to them? I mean, don't get me wrong, he did lie, but in that situation, Clinton made the right call. And now she, and other Democrats who voted for the war (if I ever hear anyone call John Kerry a flip-flopper again, I'm going to have an aneurism), is getting taking to task for it. This still does not make sense to me.

--Have you ever noticed that Taco Bell is basically "White Castle: The Next Generation?"

--I am absolutely loving the fact that winter is not petering out at the end of February this year.

--I really do not like LeBron James.

--I have heard the backwards Beatles clues multiple times, but I had never heard Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards until last night. From a broadening my horizons standpoint, it was a good thing. But, on the downside, I could not get the bit out of my head. So, I was walking around today catching myself mumbling "Here's to my sweet satan..."

--Do you ever stay up so late that you lose any and all rational thought? I was watching a UFO documentary (a guilty pleasure of mine; and, there are bound to be aliens out there somewhere) on the History Channel. When they reached the obligatory abduction portion of the program, I began to think 'maybe I should just pull an all-nighter; if the aliens saw me watching this, they might decide to get me now; plus, what if this induces one of those dreams where you wake up in a semi-conscious state of paralysis. Yeah, such is my brain at four in the morning.

--That LeBron James? Not my favorite guy in the entire world.

--I can't take credit for this (I unearthed the idea on sportsjournalists.com's forums), but I saw an interesting question: Brett Favre says that he knows he can "still play," but is mentally tired. Interesting, he comes back when his team is in the crapper and whines about not having the personnel to reach an elite level. Yet, this year he breaks all sorts of individual records en route to a great season with a promising young team, but retires? Let's get this straight, he'll play through mediocrity when he is on pace to break records, but retires in the midst of greatness after he breaks said records. And he is positive he never returned to break individual records? Furthermore, why was this question not asked at the press conference.

--I would love to make fun of Brett Favre for tearing up at his press conference, but since Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith both did the same, I thought I'd back off.

--Is it just me, or does anyone else think that Asante Samuel is prime to be a bust for the Eagles?

--More proof that I jinxed the Patriots bid for a perfect season: my August t-shirt purchase while vacationing in Boston stated "I Hate Peyton Manning" on the front, and then the afterthought insult "Eli Sucks, Too" on the back. You can't hear it, but I am doing the Sideshow Bob shudder right now. Also, why not take a peek into the archives and notice the blog post I wrote about moderately enjoying the Giants success. I need to make a list some day which compiles every single way I jinxed New England.

--Will I get grilled for wearing said anti-Manning shirt presently (since Eli did win the Super Bowl)? Or should I just wait until Week 6 of next season when everyone in New York hates him again following another three touchdown performance? Book it, bitches!

--The San Antonio Spurs are really scaring me right now.

--That being said about San Antonio, I still am happy with the Lakers right now. They've played terribly in their last two outings but still managed to pull out the victories.

--Is there a more screwed up scenario than Brad Daugherty covering NASCAR as an analyst for ESPN? That's the equivalent of sending Charles Barkley out on the course to cover a golf tournament...

"Hell no, I ain't gonna lower my voice! Aw, hell, it's only the third hole, it ain't gonna matta if he make no birdie or not. Damn, Jim Nantz, what's wrong wit you? These guys say they professional ath-uh-letes, let 'em prove it under pressure. (leans out of tower and yells toward green) Hey! Yeah you, what's your name? Phil tickled whose son, now? Don't talk gibberish to me! Mickelson? Who cares, just slap that ball in the hole already, son. (putt lips out) That was turrible! I mean, turrible! Tigah gonna make that putt all day."

(Note: the Barkley-isms make this thought look bad, but I'm pointing out the irony of basketball players calling these sports, not black people. Honest.)

--I had my Hooters cherry popped the other day, and not by choice. Let's just say, I was less than impressed.

--Guess who I don't like?! That's right, Peyton Manning! Oh, yeah and LeBron.

--A quick note: I'm going to begin writing reviews and articles for SEGA-16.com, so if you are interested, check it out (my first piece to be posted is a review of College Slam).

--Nothing intrigues me more than the enigma that is the ego of a seasoned message board poster.

--I think George W. Bush is losing his mind. I mean, I know he lost his soul when he sold it to the devil all those years ago, but I mean his mind. Have you seen his goofy press conferences lately. I watched the McCain/Bush press conference and was not sure if I should laugh or be mortified.

--My brain is completely tapped for now, so, until next time...