Like School on Sunday...

I realize that it's only spring training, but has anyone been keeping up with the Devil Rays (oops, check that, Rays)/Yankees feud? What in the hell is up with Joe Girardi. I can kind of see being upset with his catcher's wrist injury (a Rays player barreled into a Yankee, breaking his wrist in the process...if you didn't know), but did he seriously just launch a cavalcade of retaliation on the Tampa Bay Rays? Listen Joe, you guys are the NEW YORK YANKEES! You don't even acknowledge the Rays' existence, much less go out of your way to inflict harm on them.

Maybe the aforementioned Ray who ran over the catcher should not have been going balls out. But keep in mind, he's trying to put it in fourth gear to look good for his manager. Do you think half-assing it in front of the guy who decides if you are good enough for a roster spot will keep you in the majors? To once again quote my favorite crack-addicted, pop-singing sensation: "Hell to the hell to the hell to the NO!" And what if he is hyper-competitive? As long as he channels that energy within the rules of the game, he's fine. And knocking the catcher on his ass at home plate is within the rules. Do you expect him to round third and think to himself "you know what, this is a spring training game; maybe I'll just turn around to avoid confrontation with the catcher--no, that would be stupid; hmm, what to do, what to do; I know, I'll just jump over the catcher and slap home plate as I land; yeah, that's the ticket, I mean, it works in the movies," do you?

Puh-lease. The guy went balls out because he is playing for his major league life, yet somehow, you feel that this is an affront to the all-powerful New York Yankees. Well, guess what Girardi, you're full of shit, you punk. Even former Yankee Don Zimmer thinks you're nuts, and that crazy bastard charged after Pedro Martinez during a nationally televised playoff game...with hilarious results (followed by a tear-soaked, apologetic press conference...with increasingly hilarious results). So now, a legend (ish?) thinks you are making mountains out of mole hills, what do you do? Oh, that's right, you make an ass out of yourself.

In yesterday's spring training game, again featuring the Yankees and Rays (obviously), a Yankees pitcher just happens to plunk a Ray. The pitcher was predictably tossed, but it's all over and we are moving on, right? Of course not, this is Joe Girardi we're dealing with (the man who makes us remember why we hate the Yankees--before his first regular season game as manager, the cock). Later, a Yankees player (of course, it has to be spring training! Now, I have to refer to these scrubs as "pitcher," "player," and any other generic title you can give them) drills a ball into left field and, as he slides for a double, comes in spikes up.

Okay, now this is ridiculous. I understand that it sucks that your catcher broke his hand, I really do. And I dig that you go to great lengths to defend your player. But, when you chastise another team's runner (ha! A new title) for giving "too much" effort, even though the injury he caused was permissible in the rules, and then order another player to attempt to inflict injury with an illegal move, you get the "ASS" stamp (as made famous by Conan O'Brien).

There were, however, two things I loved about the spikes-up slide:

1) The Rays right-fielder who ran in and tackled said spiker (now that's a teammate!)

and

2) The fact that the spiker (the responsible thing would be to look up the names of these players...but, I'm tired) defended his move after the game by claiming he was aiming his cleats at the glove to knock the ball loose. Uh-huh, sure. Tool.

What's obvious about this situation is Girardi's involvement. He will probably (or maybe he already has) plead ignorance to the retaliation, but it seems clear that he was the mastermind. Especially after the bitch-fit he threw following Saturday's game. It is doubtful if we will ever know for sure, but one thing is certain: Any semblance of class within the Yankees organization left with Joe Torre*.

*Even if he did enjoy populating his roster with a rogue's gallery of steroids users, I personally don't give a crap.