Don't Do It, Brett

Okay, Mr. Favre. I have, admittedly, never been much of a fan. But if you want to avoid the Asshole Lifetime Achievement Award, you had better keep your mouth shut and stay away. By now, it is pretty well known that you have admitted (no doubt with an "aw shucks" preface) that a scenario involving an Aaron Rodgers injury would at least pique your interest towards coming back.

First, you have somehow managed to pile on to the enormous amount of pressure that Aaron Rodgers no doubt faces this coming season. Your "I'm retired for good!" stance now has a crack in it. It is a small, "hypothetical" crack, but a crack nonetheless. Now, every errant throw by Rogers will have Green Bay fans clamoring for their gunslinger with the childlike enthusiasm to come back.*

Secondly, building upon the expectations of Rodgers, what if your replacement struggles? He fails to play well in a couple of early losses and no doubt will all the focus be placed on whether or not you come to 'save the day.' And what if you come back and play successfully? Now what happens? Another tearful press conference (with a depressed Peter King throwing back shots of espresso while masturbating to your stubble)? Or will you hold the team hostage again, pondering whether or not another Super Bowl run is worth the damage to your body. I mean, how profitable can you be to Wrangler Jeans without suiting it up every week?

The bottomline, Mr. Favre, is that you should stay retired. You had your chance to come back, but once you said goodbye, you passed the torch over to Aaron Rodgers. Taking it back would be the least classy thing you could possibly do. And returning to another team is out of the question. You were the quarterback of a team with one of the most fanatical fanbases around, how could you consider putting another team's logo on your helmet for one more season under the spotlight. Stay in Mississippi and let Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers move on.



*Do I owe ESPN (namely Mark Schlereth) money for dropping these cliches?