Mr. Subconscious Answers Madden 09 Questions

I understand Brett Favre is to be the coverboy for Madden 09. Having learned this, I am inclined to ask one question. Maybe two. Such as...
Will Brett Favre be cursed?
Yes.
Okay, how?
For each of his remaining winters, doctors will discover a tumor on his brain. It will take them an agonizingly long time to make a decision whether or not it is cancerous. Most of the times, the results will be negative, but the process will begin anew every off seas--er--winter. Will he be in uniform on the cover?
He'll probably incorporate his uniform into a lot of things...
Or will it be a camoflauge shirt and Wrangler jeans?
Hmm, now that you say it, that's a toss-up. A quick aside: a Green Bay uniform, Wrangler jeans, and a camo t-shirt are the only articles of clothing he owns.
Will Madden be on the cover with him?
It's his game and he has a man-crush on Favre, take a guess.
In what context?
Something homo-erotic.
Gazing lovingly at Favre from the press box?
Warm.
Standing uncomfortably next to the man while an uneasy smile draws the bulk of attention to his perpetually confused face?
Warmer.
Placing his face in close proximity to his erogenous zone?
Bingo!
How will Peter King fit into all of this? €
Uncomfortably snug.*
Will there be one of those Mad Magazine pull-outs that fold to turn an innocent picture into a shocking one?
Well, a bare-assed Peter King is not exactly what I'd classify as innocent.
Assuming there is, how will it incorporate Madden and King?
Probably performing sexual favors.
Oh, in that case, who gets the front and who gets the back?
Splitsies.
Anything REALLY weird?
You'll see.
Come on, tell me!
No!
Please?
(Sigh) Well, let's just say it involves a hunting rifle, a half-inflated football, and an old-style typewriter...and some cold cuts. What? Patience is a virtue, you'll see soon enough.
Give me a hint!
Well picture cold cuts wrapped around the phallic portion of the typewriter.
Phallic typewriter?
You know, it keeps moving right as you type, it dings when you hit the margin, and you move it back to repeat the process again.
So, how will that work in sexual fav--
BBRRRINNNG! Yes! BBRRRINNNG! Yes! BBRRRINNNG! Yes!
Ew...
Yeah.