Lakers/Rockets Running Diary; Quick Hits

11/16/07

Hey, the L.A. Lakers are playing on national television again, so do you know what that means? That’s right, another running diary!

9:09
We kick things off with Jeff Van Gundy’s comment that “no one is playing better than Tracy McGrady right now.” It doesn’t really matter at all this early in the season, but I think there is a certain power forward in Boston who might have something to say about that.

9:11
L.A. wins the tip and we are under way. Kobe is off on a turnaround jumper and Houston heads back down the court.

9:13
Lakers jump out to a 4-0 lead. In other news, it appears that it isn’t an anomaly: Ronny Turiaff has cultivated a 20 foot jump shot this off-season. A strong left-handed move (surprise, surprise) from Odom makes it 6-2.

9:16
Jeff Van Gundy just dropped another pearl of wisdom: “Tracy McGrady is the second best decision maker behind Steve Nash in the NBA.” Really? I’ll research some turnover, FG% stats later, but I would like to think that Jason Kidd, Deron Williams, or other quality point guards would dispute this. Do you think the fact that Van Gundy coached McGrady for quite some time clouds his judgement?

9:18
McGrady knocks down a jumper to cut L.A.’s lead to 10-4. If I am the Lakers I will let him have that all night. As long as he has to shoot over a defender, he won’t be have a good percentage.

9:20
Turiaff got put on his ass by Yao, but Kwame Brown needs to take a note a page from Ronny’s book when it comes to aggressiveness. Surprisingly, Van Gundy disputes the foul. I really don’t mind Jeff, but it is borderline unbearable to listen to him cover a Rockets game.

9:22
Both teams may be a little gassed down the stretch, as they are each on the second half of a back-to-back. I’m not so concerned with that as I am enlightening you on some of the comments made by Phil Jackson last night in terms of his teams, um, performance:

“(Responding to a question pertaining to the Spurs ability to get into the lane) We call this a Brokeback Mountain game, because there's so much penetration and kickouts."

His juvenile, politically incorrect (yet slightly funny) comments cost him a slap on the wrist from the league. He has apologized at least twice today for what he said. Wow.

9:27
Holy crap! Derek Fisher was fouled by Yao as he was about to beat him out of a rebound. Fisher rebounding over Yao? This play aside, I still think Yao plays very small a little too often.

9:30
After Lamar Odom, who is playing very well for a man who is coming off of knee and shoulder surgery, finishes a nifty fastbreak lay-up, Kwame Brown let’s Bonzi Wells come down and finish an “and one” on him. Look Kwame, either let him score or put his ass on the floor. If you are going to foul him, foul him. I can see why Phil Jackson gave you the nickname “pussy” last year.

9:31
Ah, commercial break. Now I can get some more sugar-free Jello. I swear that this stuff is becoming like my heroin.

9:35
Just when Houston overtakes L.A.’s lead, Kobe gets on the board, knocking down a three-pointer to give the Lakers a 22-20 advantage.

9:36
Van Gundy, while explaining how Luis Scola won the MVP at the FIBA Olympic Qualifier this summer, says that he understands the mindset of the voters (Scola had no help en route to a 38 point loss to the U.S.), they should have given it to “LeBron or Bryant or somebody.” No, Jeff. It had to be Kobe. He set the tone on the defensive end for the entire team. He will be the reason the U.S. wins the gold in 2008, if indeed they make it through the tournament victoriously.

9:40
Awesome. Another “Where Amazing Happens” commercial. I’ve said it before, and I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but I love these ads. The NBA did a tremendous job this year. However, I still believe that “NBA Cares” is the least creative name that a volunteer-based initiative can have.

9:43
For the last time, Maurice Evans, you are NOT Kobe Bryant. You can’t pull off an iso move and create your own jump shot. Why can’t he get this through his head?

9:44
L.A. is playing without Kobe at the start of the second quarter; this will be a big test for the bench. Things are starting off well, though, as Vlad Radmanovic knocks down a three to give the Lakers a 29-25 lead. Nice shot, Vladdy, of course, it’s only a year late.

9:46
Wow, the officials bailed him out by calling a foul that will put Yao on the line, but Luther Head (tee-hee, “Head”) just botched a straightforward lay-up by trying to reverse it. Yao makes both free throws, but back down on the other end Andrew Bynum makes a strong move and finishes with a dunk. And now Jordan Farmar kicks down a three. With Kobe on the bench, the Lakers have extended it to a 34-27 lead. And another Farmar three makes it 37-27.

9:49
While we are at a commercial break, I would like to interject a TRT (you will have to be sharp to remember what this stands for): Twizzlers and Diet Coke is a surprisingly amazing combination. For the past three days, this has been my late night snack of choice.

9:50
This will be blasphemy to some people, but I am hoping my roommate does not come in yet, because he will want to change the game to South Park…which starts in ten minutes. So I guess I should note that if there is a half hour gap between game notes, you will have an idea what happened.

9:52
You know, I understand that Mike James is a fraction of Andrew Bynum’s size, but how does a blatant shove from behind not get considered to be an intentional foul? Does anyone know? Anyway, as Andrew Bynum makes both free throws, it reminds me of his quote when he first came to the league: “I’m like Shaq except that I make free throws.” Talk about having some big, brass balls.

9:55
Following a Mike James three, the Lakers quickly push it back up court and Kobe dishes to Odom for a nice lay-up. This is something they would not have been able to do last year. I guess Phil Jackson’s implementation of an up-tempo style of play is paying off…so far.

9:57
Holy crap. Dwyane Wade was activated today and played a bit tonight. I’m warning you in advance that I will look like a dumbass in one of the Quick Hits below, but it was written earlier today, and I am keeping it for comedic value.

9:59
Kobe knocks down a transition jumper to make it a 45-33 lead for L.A. This will come across as gay, but I get giddy every single time Kobe pulls up for a shot.

10:01
Kobe is heating up. He just knocked down his third jumper in a row. Now he dishes an assist to an open Fisher to push the Lakers to a 17 point lead. T-Mac makes it a 14 point game, but Kobe goes back down and chips away at McGrady’s shot with a fadeaway jumper.

10:04
Just in case you are wondering, we are watching South Park…but I do get to see the game via Picture-in-Picture. Also, I’m getting live updates via CBS Sportsline’s website.

10:08
Kobe knocks down his fourth straight jumper and follows it up by blocking Yao on the defensive end! HOLY S***!

10:10
Thanks to South Park, I am not exactly sure what happened, but it appears McGrady hurt himself on the last play. Surprise, surprise. By the way, what should the over/under on games he and Yao miss this year be? Forty? Forty-five? This is why I don’t believe the Rockets can win a title. They are too soft. Plus, I’d like to see them win a playoff series before I consider them serious contenders.

10:14
Kobe drills a pull-up three pointer, Houston responds with another three, and we head to the half as the Lakers lead 61-49. Just for the record, Kobe started the game 1-7, but finished the half 6-7. The rest of his stat line is: 18 points, 4 rebounds, 3 assists, 1 block (ON YAO!!!), and 1 steal.

10:21
Well, it appears the Celtics are continuing to ass rape the competition, as witnessed by their shellacking of the New Jersey Nets. And the Heat lose again, even with Dwyane Wade playing. Oh, and did I mention that they lost to the previously winless Sonics?

10:33
Perfect timing! We were able to watch South Park while the game was at half time, so I actually ended up missing very little of the game.

10:34
This just in, it appears that McGrady strained a muscle in his left elbow and is being taken to a hospital to analyze how serious the injury actually is. Needless to say, he won’t be back in this game.

10:36
Kwame is handling the ball unguarded at the top of the key… “pop it, Kwame!” And as the shot clock winds down on the same possession, Ronny Turiaff knocks down another twenty footer. If he keeps this up, teams will have to start respecting this shot, opening up L.A.’s offense.

10:39
I really wish Lamar Odom would refrain from shooting so many three pointers. I mean, unless he is absolutely wide open, I would prefer he move the ball. On the last possession, he put up an contested three with about 15 seconds left on the shot clock.

10:40
This is familiar: Kobe places a perfect inside pass to Kwame, Kwame fumbles it away.

10:41
Houston is on a bit of a run and following a foul, the Rockets have an opportunity to cut the Lakers lead down to five. And they do. I think it is time for Kobe to take over for a while. He gets hammered on a shot attempt, but no call is made. Bonzi Wells is called for traveling immediately at the other end. A make-up call, perhaps?

10:43
Nice. Derek Fisher just sunk a running hook shot. Houston is starting to get three-happy, which might allow L.A. to stem the tide.

10:45
It’s kind of funny, Bonzi Wells has arguably been Houston’s best player tonight. This is the same guy that almost led Sacramento to a playoff series victory over the Spurs two years ago, bolted town to go to Houston last year, and rotted away on the end of the bench. Hmmm, who coached this team last year? Oh yeah, Van Gundy. No wonder his performance tonight is being ignored by the analysts.

10:48
L.A. is really starting to get offensively constipated. They really need to bring Radmanovic off the bench, because he has had a hot hand tonight. As much as I love Fish, Farmar has been lights out tonight as well. They just need to shake things up before their lead dwindles down to nothing. Especially since it is now a one point game.

10:52
Come on, get selfish Kobe! Nevermind. Fisher knocks down a tough jumper in traffic.

10:54
That’s interesting. Van Gundy just stated something that I didn’t know (and I am not trying to say that to insinuate I know everything about basketball, because it is far from it). As Lamar Odom dove for he loose ball, he slid across the floor a bit with the ball in hand. In college, that is traveling, but in the pros, it isn’t. Nice job, Jeff, this is what an announcer is supposed to do.

10:58
Vlad and Farmar both check in. I wonder if Phil read my thoughts. S***. Forget the lame attempt at humor, we have bigger things to worry about. Shane Battier just knocked down a three to tie the game at 71. (I still haven’t forgiven him for stealing that game against the Lakers on opening night.)

11:00
Good defensive rotation after a double-team on Yao allowed L.A. to keep Houston from getting the lead. After a long rebound, Maurice Evans gets fouled on a fastbreak and…makes one of two free throws, 72-71 Lakers.

11:02
There you go, Maurice. This is what you are supposed to do. Evans hits an open three-pointer from the corner to give the Lakers a four point edge.

11:04
The analysts are discussing it right now, but it deserves more recognition: Mutumbo is one of the most compassionate giving people on the planet. He is an ambassador for the league and his charitable efforts (most notably, the hospital he built in the Congo) should make him a candidate for “Sportsman of the Year” every year until he retires.

11:05
As the third quarter comes to a close, Jordan Farmar air balls a last-second three pointer. Something tells me that this isn’t exactly what Phil Jackson had in mind for his team to run on the last play of the period.

11:07
After seeing its 47th commercial of the telecast, I still have absolutely no desire to see the movie “Beowulf.”

11:09
I know I have alluded to it before, but I love it when Van Gundy gets asked about what he would do if he were in Rick Adelman’s shoes. In not so many words, he is basically being asked “we know your ass got canned by this team last year since they felt you were not an adequate coach, but what would you do here?”

11:10
Bonzi Wells, who just let Luke Walton knock down a turnaround jumper in his face on the other end, just nailed a three pointer to make it a 77-75 game, Lakers.

11:11
I just witnessed a visual definition of “embarrassment.” Maurice Evans just got stuffed by the 44 year-old Dikembe Mutumbo. However, I am disappointed that I did not see the finger wag.

11:13
They have not yet surrendered the lead, but the Lakers sorely need Kobe to come back into the game. He needs to properly be in the flow of the game so he can be in a good position to close the game. As I type, Bonzi Wells ties the game and the Lakers turn it back over to the Rockets. Thankfully, Rafer Alston can’t hit anything tonight, and his three-point attempt clanks off the back iron.

11:14
Maurice Evans hits a jumper on the other end to give the Lakers a two point lead, but then does something totally ignorant. He wags a finger in the face of Mutumbo. Maybe he isn’t aware that Dikembe wasn’t guarding him on that shot, so he really didn’t get revenge. Hence, the finger wag kind of makes him look like a dumbass.

11:17
Wells is fouled and heading to the line for some go-ahead free throws. Thankfully, Bryant and Odom check back into the game. Game-on now, bitches! Hey, if the last game is an indicator, the Lakers should be good for at least ten points in the last minute. As I type, Kobe turns it on to “Kill Mode” and knocks down a jumper (and it is arguable that he was fouled on the play).

11:22
Damn. That is TWO straight plays where Lamar Odom committed an offensive foul, and unfortunately, they were both good calls. Don’t look now, but with the game tied and under six minutes, we seem to be headed for a helluva finish.

11:25
I’ll get to more on this later, but how bizarre has the Marbury/Thomas feud been within the Knicks organization?

11:26
Yao gives Houston its first lead since the first quarter with a nifty turnaround over Kwame. Thankfully, he can not do the same thing two trips in a row.

11:27
Kobe knocks down his 23rd and 24th points with another turnaround jumper, 83-83.

11:28
Hey Adidas, way to play on some sensitive racial stereotypes with the “We Not Me” commercials. What am I talking about? Let me use this line from “Airplane” to allude to my point: “Excuse me, I speak jive.”

11:29
It will be a shame if the Lakers lose tonight, because they have played A LOT better than a 3-4 record would indicate.

11:33
Fish knocks down a couple free throws to give L.A. an 85-83 lead.

11:35
Now Kobe knocks down a pair of freebies to give the Lakers an 87-83 advantage.

11:37
Yao hits one of two free throws to make it 87-84, L.A.
11:38
Now Yao is heading back to the line for two more. It’s competitive, but it isn’t exactly the exciting finish that I had hoped it would be. At any rate, it is a two point game with 2:01 remaining.

11:39
Kobe hits another jumper, Lakers by four.

11:40
Yawn. Back at the line is Yao, who again goes 1-2, making it a three point game.

11:41
The Lakers turn it over. May I ask why Kobe did not touch the ball on this possession?

11:42
With 44.1 seconds left, Bonzi Wells is heading to the line in hopes to cut the Lakers lead to one. Van Gundy keeps ripping the Lakers for not understanding how to defend Wells, but this is the same guy who didn’t know how to play the man who he keeps praising. As I critique the analysts, the Rockets failed to cut into the Lakers lead even with about five offensive rebounds. Now Bynum, who was fouled after finally getting a rebound, pushes the lead to five with 23.9 seconds left.

11:44
I would also like to note that the Rockets are out of timeouts, so, barring some boneheaded play, if the Lakers can hit their free throws, they will win the game.

11:46
Yao gets fouled on a loose ball, and, since the Lakers are in the penalty, will go to the line with the clock stopped at 19.9 seconds. He makes both to cut the lead to three.

11:47
The Lakers inbound the ball to Kobe and…he knocks down the first, and…puts in the second. Lakers by five. This also gives Kobe thirty points on the night.

11:50
In a shocking move, Yao holds the inbound for about ten seconds (great trap defense by Kwame), panics, dishes to a covered Battier, who clanks a three, which is rebounded by Yao WHO IS FOULED, AND ONE! WHAT? WHY? And Yao executes a perfect intentional miss, gets it to Alston who…narrowly misses the tying three. Holy crap. That was WAY too close for comfort. But the Lakers hold on for a tough 93-90 win.

11:53
Kobe’s final stat line: 30 points, 8 rebounds, 5 assists, 1 block (again, ON YAO!!!), and 1 steal. It should be noted that once again, he knocked down jumpers down the stretch to propel the Lakers to the victory.

QUICK HITS

--C.C. Sabathia was announced as the winner of the 2007 Cy Young Award. Now, I understand these awards are voted on prior to the playoffs, but knowing what we do know about the performances of Sabathia and Josh Beckett, who doesn’t think that the sports writers who voted for Cleveland’s ace deserve a big “ASS” stamp on their forehead.

--I understand that the guy has knee and shoulder problems, but how long will his teammates be able to hold back from popping off to the media about Dwyane Wade. I’m sure they get sick and tired of hearing “well, I could play, but I am not quite at 100%, and I want to take my time to make sure I can return close to all-star form.” I’m waiting for this Shaq quote: “Hey, what the hell is going on? Say what you want about me, but at least my fat ass is on the floor. Dwyane has got to get back on the court. F***. Kobe never milked injuries like this.”

--I would really like to be excused for this admittedly sexist comment, but I can not stand women sports writers. They wouldn’t be so bad if they tried to put a different spin on sports, but all they do is “impersonate” their male constituents. Every woman sports writer comes off to me like they forced themselves to get educated about, and watch certain, sports. It just does not seem like it comes naturally to them. Additionally, I also get tired of seeing Tony Reali give twenty bonus points to Jackie MacMullan for having a vagina.

--Speaking of MacMullan, I love the name of the paper who employs her, “The Boston Globe.” Am I the only person who giggles at this? It sounds slightly less ridiculous than “The Daily Planet.”

--Wow, as I type, a big NFL story is being broken by Chris Mortensen. Apparently Ricky Williams has run out of money to purchase marijuana, and will be reinstated by the league. I’m just curious, how long will this guy actually be in demand? Are we going to see another failed drug test, followed by another comeback? Will this pattern continue until he is 50? It’s a shame, because Williams seems like a really nice guy…he just likes to puff the magic dragon.

--Oh, and another type of sports writer who I despise: the name dropper. Examples of this: Jemele Hill, Peter King, Dr. Z, and Mike Lupica, among others. King constantly references his personal phone calls with players and coaches, as well as post-game text messages. Dr. Z, on the other hand, is more subtle. He will just matter-of-factly reminisce about conversations had with legendary NFL figures. No matter how it is presented, name-dropping takes away from any writers work.

--So, I was on the phone with Mick Jagger today…

--How in the hell do you go about becoming a high profile sports agent? Do you wake up one morning and think “you know, I am pretty good at being a greedy, pretentious asshole, why don’t I give Alex Rodriguez a call?” Is that all it takes?

--Do you realize that up until I saw an A&E special advertised today, I was under the impression that “The Battle of the Bulge” was an argument between a general and his wife over whether his pants were too tight?

--I feel sorry for O.J. Simpson. I mean, I guess it is universally assumed that he was guilty for the murder of his wife and friend, but the man was still found not guilty through our judicial system. I personally feel that this new case is a witch hunt to correct the presumed mistake made over ten years ago. He may very well be guilty of the current charges brought against him, but he should be innocent until proven guilty, a luxury that I don’t think he has been given this time around.

--That being said, if O.J. is guilty for bringing guns into the room of the memorabilia owners, what do you think ran through their minds as Simpson walked through the door? Based on their probable preconceived notions, I’m guessing it was something like: “Oh, My God! It’s Juice! What is he doing with that gun?! Oh, God! Are those Isotoners?! We’re screwed!”

--Totally Random Thought (herein referred to as TRT, unless I just forget): I love Ellen Degeneres…she is absolutely hilarious.

--TRT 2: I want to be an NBC page.

--I have not officially made an announcement of this yet (what in the hell am I doing, you may ask, running for office?), but, at least for this season, I (barely) like Sean Salisbury. I don’t know what happened, I mean, don’t get me wrong, the annoying habits are all there: the ridiculous ego, the juvenile jokes, the smug satisfaction he derives from making juvenile jokes, the amazing ability to have a personal anecdote involving anyone who has ever been affiliated with the NFL since its inception, etc. But this year, he has not been as much of a moron. Take the Patriots for example: no matter how you feel about this situation, you have to admit that some pundits went way overboard on the shots they take at the team following Spy-gate (It is especially damning since they are supposed to be impartial, at least on television [they are allowed opinions on radio shows, which is just one reason I prefer sports radio to television]). Salisbury wasn’t one of them. He didn’t exactly praise New England for what they did, but he essentially called anyone who challenged the team’s legacy an idiot. And for that, I am now willing to move him into the “LIKE” column. Also, the man has gotten a lot quicker on his feet. Take, for instance, a couple examples of his improving wit on the “Four Downs” segment that he and John Clayton shoot for Sportscenter (I also would like to say I don’t particularly care for Clayton…he is smart, but also very biased to certain teams, he is arrogant, and, come on, can you actually tolerate an NFL analyst who looks like a Muppet? In fact, I don’t even like calling him a Muppet, because it demeans Kermit and the gang.). I catch “Four Downs” sporadically, but over the course of this season, I have seen Salisbury make Clayton look like (and I want to dedicate a joke of this caliber to Sean) he belongs in a hardware store…because he is a tool. The first scenario came about when the two men were debating the pros and cons of various quarterbacks around the league. While discussing in-game performance, Clayton threw out this barb:

“Well Sean, it’s not like you have much room to talk on this, unless we are discussing quarterback experience from the sideline.”
And granted, Salisbury was pretty much a career backup, but take a gander at his response, which resulted in Clayton resorting to one of his go-to moves. The eye-roll, which is particularly annoying when he performs it. Anyone who can relate to what I am referring to can feel their blood boiling at this very moment.

“That may be the case, John, but I’ll tell you what. If I ever got sweaty heading to the locker room, guys like you were there to hand me a towel.”

Talk about getting bitch-slapped on national television! But wait, there is more. This past week, while discussing the fall-out from the Colts loss to the Chargers, the Cowboys and Packers dominating performances, and the Steelers gutsy win against the Browns, the two men each gave their power rankings. Salisbury went first: 1) Patriots, 2) Cowboys, 3) Steelers, 4) Colts, 5) Packers. Clayton followed, putting emphasis on the fact that these were the “experts” power rankings: 1) Patriots, 2) Cowboys, 3) Packers, 4) Colts, 5) Steelers. Salisbury pulled one of his annoying ego-massaging maneuvers by proclaiming that the “experts” needed his expertise. Clayton reiterated that the “experts” had spoken. The two spent the next minute or so measuring johnsons. But at the conclusion of the segment (and, by the same token, argument), Salisbury asked a simple question: “you honestly think the Packers would beat the Steelers?” Clayton refused to answer…big mistake. Salisbury followed with something along the lines of “okay Mr. Expert, if the two teams played today, at Lambeau, who would win Pittsburgh or Green Bay. No answer from Clayton. More chastisement from Salisbury. As if ending the segment by remaining silent in the face of adversity, Clayton made the committed the biggest no-no of all…he mumbled one more thing about the “expert picks” and did the Clayton eye-roll. Salisbury had taken Clayton to task on national television, which had to bother the latter more than anyone considering the (obvious) pride he takes in his “superior” intelligence. It was probably like high school all over again for Clayton, with the lone exception being that Salisbury was not there to give him a wedgie (it was done via satellite, after all). I honestly doubled the amount of respect that I had for Salisbury just by watching this segment.

--At the conclusion of the Lakers/Rockets game, I found something a tad bit peculiar. The lead story on Sportscenter was the impending Yankees/Alex Rodriguez deal. Take a wild guess at who was giving analysis on this issue. No, not Charles Barkley, although you would have been close had you guessed the old “Round Mound of Rebound.” It was actually Stephen A. Smith. What baseball qualifications does he have besides being a Yankees fan? Was he sitting in the breakroom sipping on some coffee waiting to do some reactionary coverage of the night’s NBA games, only to have the SC producer come in: “Stephen put you motherf***ing microphone back on! John Kruk was just rushed to the hospital after suffering a massive coronary, we need someone to do the A-Rod story at the top of the hour!” Whether this is the case or not, the man can put forth an argument like no one else, so he wasn’t the worst candidate. Still, couldn’t they pull Tim Kurkjian out of his shift at Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory for five minutes so he could discuss the Yankees story over the phone?*

--I actually watched this week’s Democratic presidential debate, and I have got to tell you, I was not at all disappointed. Given the fact that it does not reach the audience that the big-time 2008 Democrat/Rebulican debates do, these discussions are a lot more relaxed and personal. You also have a bunch of candidates who know that there is no chance in hell that they will get elected, so they never hesitate to crack a joke about or go for the jugular of an opponent. It’s like British parliament, without all of the cool accents. Anyway, I am only mentioning this, because Dennis Kucinich (a candidate whom I love, but who will never, ever, ever get the Democratic nomination) had one of the greatest lines of all-time. John Edwards (who is almost as smooth as Bill Clinton) gracefully side-stepped a question about the PATRIOT ACT.** Kucinich was next in line to be asked the same question, and he had this to say: “My fellow candidates have all taken turns ripping the PATRIOT ACT to shreds, and rightly so, but I would like to point out that I am the only person on this stage to have voted against its ratification.***” The moderator asked Kucinich why he voted against it, to which he replied: “Because I read it.”

--Dennis Kucinich will only be elected president if Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin are able to go snowboarding.^ But it’s a shame. In a time when Americans are pleading for politicians who don’t just say what the voter wants to hear, “flip-flop,” or create a private agenda, Kucinich is seemingly the ideal candidate. Look at his track record on hot button issues: we’ve already established that he is the only candidate who can say that he voted to block the PATRIOT ACT, he voted against an invasion of Iraq from the get-go, he advocates pulling troops out as soon as he is elected (the specifics of which I still need to research), and he has consistently supported the idea of gay marriage. He is pretty much the only guy in the race who can give you straight answer on an issue, because he has nothing to hide. He may be telling Americans what they want to hear, but his voting record shows that he isn’t full of BS. He may be a little too liberal on some issues, but he provides an opportunity for Americans to vote for a person, not a personal agenda.

--My emotions have been rather bipolar when it comes to the issue of Kobe Bryant, but at this point, I am feeling very positive. It was reported this week, by ESPN’s Ric Bucher, that a deal was put in place to send Kobe Bryant to the Detroit Pistons for Rip Hamilton, Tayshaun Prince, and Jason Maxiel (I’m assuming that the Pistons would also get some other pieces, but it wasn’t specified). However, Kobe invoked his no-trade clause and killed the transaction. Think about that. Kobe would have had the opportunity to play with Chauncey Billups, Rasheed Wallace, and a solid supporting cast…in the EAST. With Kobe in that lineup, the Pistons become automatic title contenders (if they aren’t already). It was actually later reported that Joe Dumars claimed that the rumor was bogus and that no deal was ever in place. Still, Bucher is usually pretty dead on, and it seems like Dumars is trying to save face with his players. If he denies that a Kobe deal was ever even discussed, no Piston feels unwanted. Look at the toll that the Kobe rumors took on the Chicago Bulls. Dumars doesn’t want that to happen with the Pistons. Whether it will remains to be seen. One thing, however, seems pretty evident to me: I think Kobe wants to stay in L.A. The Lakers are 5-3, coming off two huge wins against quality opponents (one being the aforementioned Pistons), everybody is clicking on the team right now, Bynum is playing better than expected, the bench has all of sudden become one of the NBA’s five best reserve squads, and Kobe is getting lots of rest, while his teammates continue to preserve leads. They have the ability to hang with anybody, and when you have a closer like Kobe Bryant on your team, that makes you very dangerous. I am not ready to say that they are title contenders, but they are playing better than they ever did last year. And last year’s squad would have been a fifty-win team had injuries not taken their toll. I believe an ESPN.com user put it best on a Lakers-related message board: “Kobe is finding the grass to be greenest out in L.A.” God, I can only hope so.

--I may despise the Indianapolis Colts with all of my heart, but those who claim that the Colts are in danger of missing the playoffs are crazy. Those who believe the Steelers will overtake them for the second seed might be on to something, however.

--It’s weird, but everytime I watch the forecast on The Weather Channel, the music creates the ambiance of a grocery store.

--Just a heads up, the next column will cover, but won’t necessarily be limited to, the Barry Bonds story. Also, look for some NBA and NFL coverage. Oh, and don’t be surprised for some Lakers analysis, but you probably expected that.

WEEK 11 NFL PICKS
(Abridged; Home Team in Caps)

Cleveland over BALTIMORE
JACKSONVILLE over San Diego
PHILADELPHIA over Miami
MINNESOTA over Oakland
INDIANAPOLIS over Kansas City
GREEN BAY over Carolina
DETROIT over New York Giants
Tampa Bay over ATLANTA
New Orleans over HOUSTON
Arizona over CINCINNATI
Pittsburgh over NEW YORK JETS
Chicago over SEATTLE (I think Rex will have a big day)
St. Louis over SAN FRANCISCO
DALLAS over Washington
New England over BUFFALO
Tennessee over DENVER

*If you are having trouble with this joke, just think about the employees of Wonka’s factory.
**For those who are unfamiliar with the PATRIOT ACT, here is a brief description: it was a hastily written bill (about a month after September 11th, which is a little too hastily, if you ask 9/11 Truthers, but we won’t go there at this point) which was snuck in with a package of bills that permitted many politicians (mostly Democrats) to begrudgingly pass it along (plus, voting against the PATRIOT ACT at a time when patriotic fervor rippled through our country would have been career suicide for many politicians). It has already been found to be unconstitutional once, yet even after its modification, it still permits the government to tap a person’s phones, follow a person, look at a person’s internet history, search through personal documents, and much more. Oh yeah, they can do all this WITHOUT a warrant. They just have to suspect you of being a terrorist. What’s more, the government does not have to alert the person who is being investigated as long as they claim that the person is a suspect through the PATRIOT ACT. Uh, I’ll take “Profiling” for $500, Alex.
***Another candidate, New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson had the second greatest line of the night, when he said: “Dennis, you keep lumping me in with all of these other congressman, but I am governor of New Mexico, I don’t have a vote on the issues that you say I voted on.”
^Although, in all seriousness, both men could actually be in Heaven, we don’t know.