Ravens/Pats, Lakers/Nuggets, Other Thoughts

Whew!

That is all that I can say after last night’s controversial football game involving the New England Patriots and the Baltimore Ravens. What exactly happened? Well, long story short, Tommy Brady once again marched his troops down the field for yet another game-winning drive. But if you are either a Ravens player, a blind supporter, or a pro-Colts/anti-Pats fan, it appeared to you that there was more to it: conspiracy. Don’t get me wrong, I love conspiracy theories (did JFK get killed the way the Warren Commission says he did? Well, in the immortal words of Whitney Houston “hell to the hell to the hell to the no!” Was 9/11 an inside job or, best case scenario, a terrorist plot that was sniffed out yet still allowed to play out? Probably. Did Michael Jordan get secretly suspended for 18 months by the NBA for his gambling issues? I wouldn’t bet against it). But the lies that those in favor of the Ravens have tried to perpetuate are just plain ridiculous. To start, let me set the stage for you:

Through three quarters, the Ravens absolutely put it to the Patriots—hard. They got pressure on Tom Brady, completely shut down Wes Welker, kept Randy Moss (and by proxy, the big-time plays) in check, and did not allow New England to set up their running game. For the second straight week, a would-be benchwarmer has been very effective against the Patriots defense. More importantly, the Patriots were destroyed by Willis McGahee; time and again, McGahee was able to bust through the hole for big yardage and first downs (in fact, he had the most rushing yards NE has allowed by a back since…Willis McGahee in 2005**). Now, if you read this description without knowing how the game actually turned out, who do you think would be the winner? You’d win a lot of money if you said New England. That’s right. Despite everything going against them on this night (and I am not referring to officiating), the New England Patriots somehow found a way to win and keep their quest for perfection alive for at least one more week.

But this leads us back to the controversy at hand. Did the officials, and by the same token, the NFL want the Patriots to win last night? Lots of people in Maryland and Indiana (and to be honest, anywhere outside of Boston) certainly think so. And this is what gets me. I can understand blaming officiating when you are mad, but when you are given adequate time to cool down, yet you still cry foul, something is up: either preferential treatment took place or you are a massive tool. So are those that propose the Patriots were given the game right or wrong? Let’s just say, all of these gripers belong in a hardware store.

What exactly transpired in the now infamous closing moments of this game? Let’s go through this step-by-step (day-by-day...) to fully appreciate the nuances of this amazing finish. Here goes:

--With under four minutes left in the game, the Ravens faced a 3rd and 1 situation, knowing that a first down would all but ice the game. Willis McGahee, as mentioned earlier, had owned the Patriots defense on this night. So what would the call be, in a time where milking the clock was absolutely crucial? A play-action pass from Kyle Boller that wound up incomplete.

--With just over a three minutes, facing a 4th and 1, Baltimore had to decide whether to take a chance and go for it or punt it away to the most clutch player of this decade. The Ravens had not held back all night and seemed intent on going for the jugular, so of course, they…punted it away?? If you want to pull off the monumental upset, you can not all of a sudden lose your spine with three minutes to go. I’m not saying it was the wrong call, but one yard would have effectively beaten the Patriots. If you can not pick up one yard, then your team does not deserve to win the game.

--After a couple of Tom Brady pass attempts completed to get the Patriots into Baltimore territory, things began to heat up. The Ravens pushed the Pats to a fourth down, but a heads-up scramble by Brady meant that New England was able to convert.

--Later on, within the two-minute warning, the Pats faced another 4th and 1 situation, and a quarterback sneak was sniffed out, essentially ending the game. But wait, Baltimore had called a timeout, ergo, the play never happened. (An interesting note: the rules state that the head coach is the only one on the sideline allowed to call a timeout, yet defensive coordinator Rex Ryan was the one to make the gaff. However, the rules also state that if the official is not in eye contact, he must acknowledge the timeout as if it were taken by the head coach. According the league, a head coach is responsible for all personnel, so if the D-coordinator calls a timeout, and the official can not visibly tell which coach it is, the head coach is responsible for the timeout. Therefore, the Ravens were in no way cheated last night, as far as the “bogus” timeout goes.)

--Given a reprieve, the Ravens seemingly stopped the Patriots again on 4th and 1. But alas, New England was flagged for a false start—the play never happened. This would lead to a 4th and 6, meaning Brady was forced to pass. As Steve Young pointed out, a 4th and 6 to this Pats team might just be more ideal than a 4th and 1, at any rate, the Patriots were able to convert the play for a first down. (Some claim that the false start should not result in a stoppage of the play, and that the defense should be able to decline. This is debatable, but the false start is a double-edged sword that affects all 32 teams.)

--How did New England get the first down on the 4th and 6? Offensive holding on Baltimore. This sent the Ravens up in arms (specifically Bart Scott, but more on him in just a bit). But a quick glance at the replay shows that the Patriots receiver was clearly held past the five yard cutoff. It did change the complexion of the play and not calling it would have been unfair to the Patriots. However, if you want to complain about the five yard cutoff rule for when a receiver can be touched, simply contact man responsible at:
Bill Polian
7001 West 56th StreetIndianapolis, IN 46254

--With a first and goal situation for the Patriots, with the Ravens defense now reeling, Tom Brady hit Jabar Gafney on an in-and-out pattern for a touchdown in the corner of the end zone. The rule on the field was touchdown, yet the fact that Gafney did not possess a kung-fu grip on the ball led some to think that this was not a legitimate catch. Replays continued to show, however, that Gafney has the ball under control with both hands on it. The only movement is a result of Gafney tucking the ball into his chest. It was a catch. But if you still don’t believe, keep in mind that the replay must show irrefutable evidence that he was juggling the ball: it does not.

--At this point, many of the Ravens were visibly frustrated by their inability to execute within the parameters of the league rules. Particularly Bart Scott, who received an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty and then proceeded to chuck the initial flag in the stands. He was flagged again for the same infraction, and I was under the impression that he received a third. However, I was mistaken. But he should have received at least another simply for the fact that he was still screaming at the official…while being restrained by at least five people. His coach, Brian Billick, would later comment on his behavior: “you can’t be a dumb football player.” Indeed, Coach Billick is right. Mr. Scott, you are a paid, professional football player, so start acting professional.

--Thanks to Bart Scott’s three-year-old antics, the Patriots were kicking off from the Baltimore forty yard long. Stephen Gostkowski decided to put it through the uprights of the goal post to seal the deal on a touchback. I, however, felt that New England should have tried an onside kick. There was still almost a minute left in the game, and even if the Ravens recovered, they would only have had the ball on the 30 yard line.

--With a few seconds remaining, Kyle Boller was tasked with heaving one last desperation pass as close to the end zone as possible. He came up two yards shot, but a catch was still made near the goal line. The Pats were there to wrap things up, but that was too close of a call. But should it have been? The replays clearly indicate that Asante Samuel was on the receiving end of an offensive pass interference. Had he not been held up, Samuel would most definitely have knocked the ball down (or even intercepted it), as he was in prime position to make the play.

--The post-game interviews and press conferences were filled with many bitter Ravens players. Myriad remarks, in regards to perceived poor officiating will no doubt result in a large deposit to the NFL’s bank account. Additionally, Bart Scott could very well be suspended for his on-field meltdown (which is unfortunate, since they will need him against a resurgent Colts team this Sunday). But in an ironic twist, the only terrible call within the last few minutes of last night’s game benefited the Ravens, not the Patriots.**

--Tom Brady’s post-game comments were absolutely outstanding, but it’s pretty obvious that what he said will make anyone who hates him up their disdain level ten-fold. When asked about the stop on fourth down (which was nullified by the Baltimore timeout), Brady joked that he “would have gotten the first down if they didn’t blow the whistle.”

--Whoever reads this, and also knows me pretty well, will no doubt state that I am being a hypocrite about ripping the Ravens for criticizing the officials. First off, they are professionals and they are paid to act at a higher standard than I do. Secondly, and more importantly, I, like Barry Bonds arguing balls and strikes (not exactly the wisest reference at this point, although I still don’t think the government has an open-and-shut case against him…but more on that at a later time), am usually right when I complain about officiating. At the very least, I try and provide coherent evidence to back up my claims. I personally feel that there might be a conspiracy theory in the NFL, but it is a pro-Colts agenda, not a pro-Pats one, and I can cite (and in some cases, provide footage) numerous cases where the Colts have been bailed out and the Pats have been hosed by officiating. Whether you agree with me or not is beside the point, but my gripes are usually founded in something, which is more than the Baltimore Ravens players can say after last night’s disgrace.

****


Lakers v. Nuggets: The Running Diary

9:10
What do you know, another Lakers game on national television, another running diary. This is interesting, apparently Andrew Bynum will be limited to playing off the bench thanks to a bout with food poisoning. Apparently he spent most of yesterday in a Minnesota hospital.

9:12
Kobe starts the game off with an 18 foot jumper, Lakers up 2-0. Allen Iverson counters with a jump shot of his own, tie game. Lamar Odom moves it back down and makes a jumper of his own. He follows that up with an offensive rebound and a putback, 6-2, Lakers.

9:13
Nice! Chris Mihm puts in a turnaround hook shot, to give the Lakers an 8-4 lead. Denver puts it back to 8-6 with an Anthony Carter jumpshot, but Luke Walton kicks in another jumper to make it 10-6. Talk about your quick starts.

9:15
Allen Iverson knocks down a couple of free throws to let the Nuggets cut it back to two (also letting me catch my breath).

9:16
Kobe hits another jumper, and Kobe is looking like he feels it tonight. Derek Fisher, however, is not, he is 0-3 tonight and his attempts have not even been close. No matter, come the fourth quarter, Fisher will turn it on if need be.

9:18
Wow. Kobe gets fouled on a jump shot and…it’s a three point play. 17-8, Lakers.

9:20
Great ball movement by the Nuggets enables Allen Iverson to hit an uncontested baseline jumper, Lakers lead 20-12. Timeout.

9:21
A Wrangler commercial featuring Brett Favre has reminded me of a topic that I wanted to bring up: Sports Illustrated’s Sportsman of the Year. They have screwed it up two years in a row (Roger Federer, the real 2006 SotY). For those who have not heard, and aren’t very perceptive, Brett Favre has won this year’s award. First of all, I am just glad that the hypocrite “Phony” Dungy (hee-hee, I’m clever) did not win the award. Secondly, the choice of Favre is an absolute cop-out. Why not give it to the Colorado Rockies, who electrified the sports world with an improbable post-season run, donating a portion of their playoff bonuses to a deceased coach’s family in the process (and yes, teams have won this award before). Or what about my personal choice, Dikembe Mutumbo? He is still an effective center off of the bench, and on top of this, he has donated large amounts of time and money to help combat AIDS in his home country of the Congo. Can’t he get some love? Yes, Favre is having a late-career peak, but if they are going strictly on performance, SI should have given the award to Tom Brady or Tony Romo. Favre is a bit of a cop-out move.

9:24
Derek Fisher must have been reading this in his mind—he has hit two tough jumpers in a row, one which has been matched by Kenyon Martin, to make it 22-14, Lakers.

9:25
Ouch. Allen Iverson hits Carmelo Anthony with an alley-oop. Now Iverson gets in on the action with a nifty drive, followed by a quick jumper. Denver is on an 8-0 run, 22-20, Lakers.

9:30
Following a couple of game-tying Iverson free throws, Vladimir Radmanovic and Kobe Bryant each contribute a couple of jumpers to Laker cause, pushing it back to a five point Lakers lead.

9:33
Iverson goes one of two from the foul line, and Kobe counters with yet another jumper, giving him 11 and, more importantly, giving the Lakers a 29-23 lead. A would-be jump ball ends up being a foul on Kobe, and J.R. Smith makes it a three point game. Lamar Odom’s second consecutive offensive foul gives Denver back the ball, but a missed three rebounded by Kobe allows the Lakers five seconds for a quarter-ending score. Oh shit! Kobe gets tripped up by Eduardo Najera and lands hard on his left shoulder (which he has had trouble with in the past). He slowly makes his way to the bench, but this is a scary proposition for the Lakers not only in this game, but also for the remainder of the season. I am literally sick to my stomach.

9:39
Yet another damn Cuba Gooding/Michael Jordan Hanes commercial filled with will they/won’t they homosexual tension. Seriously, how long until the first Michael on Cuba porno is released? At this rate, I am putting the over/under at six months.

9:41
The second quarter is about to get under way, but let’s see if we can get a Kobe update…uh-oh. We are a few moments away from an official report, but Kobe has headed into the locker room.

9:42
Wait, Kobe is walking back to the bench! Please, God, say he is okay.

9:43
I really like the way this second-unit plays for the Lakers. With the starters on the bench, the Lakers have pushed this to a 33-26 lead. I may have spoken to soon, as an AI jumper has been followed by a Lakers turnover.

9:44
Iverson hits another jumper (33-30), but it has been announced that Kobe will be back in the game at some point tonight. Wow…as I type, J.R. Smith was absolutely stuffed by Andrew Bynum. The Lakers follow the nice defensive play with a Vladdy Radmanovic three pointer…and another Radmanovic three…and another potential point, pending a free throw thanks to a Kenyon Martin technical. As the game heads to commercial, Denver is facing a quickly built ten point deficit.

9:49
The game returns with Sasha Vujacic knocking down the technical free throw, 40-30, Lakers. Carmelo counters with a jump shot, 40-32, L.A.

9:51
A beautiful high-banking floater by AI cuts the Lakers lead to six. Radmanovic hits yet another three, followed by Iverson’s eighth straight FG, followed by a Luke Walton jumper, followed by AI’s ninth: 45-38, Lakers. Iverson is absolutely feeling it. It looks like the most underappreciated NBA player, besides Kobe Bryant, over the past ten years is playing like its 2001.

9:53
Carmelo hits a couple of free throws (45-40) as Kobe checks back in.

9:54
After a series of crazy plays, Radmanovic hits his fifth three pointer in as many tries. Denver follows with a three of their own, and it is now a 48-43 Lakers lead.

9:57
Wow. The red hot Sacramento Kings have reported today that Kevin Martin, the team’s best player, will be out 4-6 weeks with an injury suffered last night versus Utah.

10:01
Jon Barry: “I’m going to come up for a new name for the Cavaliers: the “Lebron-iers.”


…


Wow.

10:02
A couple of traded baskets have now made it a 51-47 game.

10:03
Kobe knocks down a turnaround jumper, followed by a Lamar Odom three pointer. Lakers push it back, yet again, to a nine point game, 56-47.

10:07
A couple of easy baskets (thanks to great ball movement) by Chris Mihm and Lamar Odom make it a 60-51 game.

10:10
Allen Iverson hits another jump shot to make it a 60-51 game (he is 12-15 for 29 points in the first half, folks). On the next trip down, he adds two more points via a couple of free throws (60-53).

10:11
A very close foul called on Bryant puts Allen Iverson at the line to make it a five point game (giving AI 33 for the half).

10:12
Sasha Vujacic hits a jump shot from the wing, which is countered by a Najera three. We head to the half with the Lakers up 62-58.

10:33
We return from the break in time to see Kobe Bryant pick up his fourth foul on a push-off against Allen Iverson. Replays indicate that the foul was accented by a wonderful acting job by Iverson.

10:35
A couple of traded baskets and an inside drive put Allen Iverson on the line to potentially make it a 64-62 game…and he only makes one of two free throws: 64-61, Lakers.

10:36
A missed Lamar Odom three gets tipped in by Luke Walton, but it is followed on the other end with a Nuggets basket (66-63).

10:37
Carmelo Anthony hits a basket to make it a one point game.

10:39
Lamar Odom goes one-for-two from the free throw line to make it 67-65, Lakers. Kenyon Martin will go to the line in an attempt to tie the game. The first free throw is off. Timeout Lakers.

10:42
Back from the break, Kenyon Martin converts on the second of his two free throws. The Lakers lead 67-66…Chris Mihm hits a couple of free throws to make it 69 (hee-hee) to 66.

10:43
Iverson, who apparently did not cool off during half time, hits another jumper to make it a one point game.

10:46
Derek Fisher weathers the storm with a nice jumper, keeping the Lakers ahead 71-68.

10:47
Lamar Odom leads the fastbreak and converts on a lay-up (73-68).

10:48
Lamar Odom’s clear-path foul on Anthony Carter allows Denver to hit two free throws and get the ball back. More importantly, the Nuggets are now in the bonus.

10:49
Iverson hits another jump shot, and with the and-one, Denver ties the game at 71.

10:51
Another fadeaway by Iverson makes it a two-point lead for the Nuggets. Another foul will put AI on the line with a chance to add to his point total. He makes both to give himself 45 points.

10:52
Jordan Farmar hits a three pointer to trim the Nuggets lead down to one.

10:53
Iverson, by this point, is obviously feeling it! Another jumper gives him 47 points. The Nuggets are up by three, but Derek Fisher adds a couple of free throws to cut it back to one.

10:54
Two Trevor Ariza free throws gives L.A. back the lead, 80-79.

10:55
Eduardo Najera hits a three from the wing to make it 82-80, Nuggets.

10:59
A couple trips down the court make it 84-81, Nuggets.

11:01
We are under a minute to go in the third and a Jordan Farmar three has just tied the game at 86.

11:02
Derek Fisher goes to the line to give the Lakers the lead, 88-86.

11:03
Iverson gets fouled and will go to the line to try and tie the game…he hits the first…and he hits the second.

11:05
The third quarter comes to a close with the game tied at 88. With all that has transpired, Kobe’s foul trouble and lack of play time, the reliance on the Lakers second unit, and Allen Iverson’s continuous hot hand, the Lakers have still been able to hang in there and keep the game tied. Now…it’s Kobe time!!!

11:10
Kobe starts off the fourth with a sweet drive into the lane (90-88). Carmelo Anthony counters with an alley-oop to tie the game back up.

11:11
Kobe goes to the line and hits a couple of free throws to make it a 92-90, Lakers.

11:20
Kobe knocks down a couple more free throws, 94-90, Lakers.

11:21
J.R. Smith hits a lay-up to make it a two point game.

11:22
Kenyon Martin slams it down to make it a tie ball game. Carmelo Anthony ends a fast break with a dunk, giving Denver a two point lead. Timeout Lakers.

11:27
J.R. Smith heads to the foul line in hopes of putting the Nuggets up by four. He hits the first…and he hits the second. 98-94, Denver.

11:29
Derek Fisher hits a silky smooth jumper to make it a two point game.

11:31
The Nuggets are on a 10-2 run and are up by four (100-96).

11:34
Vladimir Radmanovic cuts the lead to one with a three from the wing.

11:35
Allen drives in for an and-one. Kobe picks up his fifth foul. AI can’t capitalize on the free throw and it is a three point game.

11:37
Kobe sets up Andrew Bynum with a sweet alley-oop, 102-101, Nuggets lead.

11:38
Vladdy Radmanovic goes to the line and is able to tie the game at 102.

11:40
Kobe gets hammered and still makes the lay-up. Lakers 104, Nuggets 102.

11:41
Andrew Bynum comes up with a huge block on Anthony, and Bryant follows up with a floater in the lane (106-102).

11:48
Anthony counters with a tough lay-up of his own (106-104).

11:50
Michael Jordan 2.0 knocks down yet another clutch shot, the Lakers go up by four.

11:51
Kenyon Martin goes to the line…he misses the first…he makes the second. 108-105, Lakers.

11:52
Desperation fouling begins: Derek Fisher hits two daggers, Lakers up by five.

11:55
The horn sounds off and the Lakers escape the Allen Iverson and the Denver Nuggets with the 111-107 win. Once again, Kobe Bean Bryant is able to come through in the clutch, hitting his final three shots in the fourth quarter (with an injured shoulder) to seal the win.

****

The always amusing Bill Simmons brought up a topic in his weekly podcast on ESPN.com that I have not talked about at all, despite being a comedic goldmine—the WNBA. Simmons brought up a good point, women’s sports are simply inferior to men’s, and they only gain popularity of the women involved are attractive (see: women’s tennis).*** Obviously, they proceeded to spend the next five minutes cracking jokes alluding to lesbianism, yet still somehow managed to stay politically correct. I personally have always thought of the WNBA as a joke. This feeling was validated about five years ago, when I caught an episode of ESPN’s ill-fated foray into the reality television market “Beg, Borrow, and Deal.” In the show, contestants were asked to perform various sports-related tasks in order to get from place to place. In the particular episode that I saw, one of the tasks was to defeat a WNBA all-star in one-on-one. The team member selected to go up against the all-star did not appear formidable at all, and at first, I was looking forward to some arrogant douchebag to get his taint handed to him on national television. What I witnessed was the only possible scenario that could have topped what I was hoping to see. The guy was as terrible as I expected, but…he almost won. I know “almost” indicates that the WNBA player did not come through. But seriously, this is supposed to be a professional basketball player (or, at least a woman moonlighting as a professional basketball player). The fact that she was almost put away by some average Joe with an inflated ego tells me all I need to know about the WNBA.http://sports.espn.go.com/espnradio/player?context=podcast&id=314288

Random Links

--Okay, we all know that the WGA strike has prevented me from getting my (week) daily dose of all-new Conan. At any rate, I happened to catch an episode a while back that had somehow slipped past my radar, and it featured the comedic genius that is everyone’s favorite insult comic: Triumph! Here (http://video.aol.com/video-detail/triumph-sues-trouble-helmsley-91407/3030418360) is a link to the bit, which features Triumph on a crusade to get some money he feels entitled to. Enjoy.

--Is Mario Mario a communist? Of course not, right? Don’t be so sure. Check out this (http://nedmartin.org/amused/communist-mario) piece on the subject, which could turn the video game world upside down. Boy, this information could have been useful a decade or so ago in order to combat my friends: “hey guys, guess what! Sonic the Hedgehog isn’t a commie! In fact, I’d say he sticks up for the blue collar folks. This of course is in opposition to your beloved Mario, who is trying to spread his red propaganda to you through your wonderful, little SNES. (And then I’d cue a boombox to peform the classic “SEGA!” scream, press stop, slam it on the ground, grab my junk, and walk away. Man…I would have gotten so much action.)

--Since I have pretty much ransacked there site without contributing so much as a raw cover scan, I figure that I should give a shout-out to the boys over at www.thecoverproject.net. They do some pretty cool work on this site, and if you ever find yourself in need of a makeshift case for a loose video game, check out this place first.

--Just a random note: I can not wait until I have been writing these posts for a long time, just so I can have all the names and teams of my subjects saved in Spell Check. You would be amazed at the time I spend going through and “adding to dictionary.” It is truly a pain in the ass.

--With that, I’m going to close. I understand that I have not been as religious with updating the site as I had been at its inception, but I assure, I have been busy. You may notice that a lot of these columns seem less focused and rather unorganized (hint: running diaries eat up a lot of space). Unfortunately, I have haphazardly strewn together bits and pieces that have been written down here and there. In fact, I had to cut out about a third of what I had written, because it was really out of date. Hopefully, I can get back on track over Christmas with a nice, big, controversial column. Until then, this will have to do.

*Of Adam Sandler fame; he played the psycho in Billy Madison, “Crazy Eyes” in Mr. Deeds, the homeless guy in Big Daddy…
**It is ironic, to me, that the Ravens would claim that the NFL had some sort of conspiracy against them in last night’s game. I mean, let’s keep in mind that heading into their showdown with the Pats, Baltimore was the second most penalized team in the league.
***My favorite part of the WNBA discussion came up when Simmons revealed to his listeners that in discussions with “higher-ups” from both the NBA and ESPN, both parties validated their involvement with the WNBA like it was some sort of charity organization, and not an actual form of entertainment.